Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Calling All Mollusks to Co-Star in Feature Film

We’re looking for a talented young mussel to play the role of the Ohio Pigtoe in our upcoming film. Candidate must be bright and ambitious and well-versed in the sediments and freshwaters of the Midwestern United States, particularly Southern Illinois. Imperative that aspirant understand his or her crucial role in freshwater ecosystems: filtering and aerating the river or stream, creating a structural foundation and shelter for invertebrates and small fish, and occasionally playing the role of prey to larger fish, invertebrates, and even mammals (apologies).

Casting call for this position has been open for quite some time now as the freshwater mollusk is part of the most endangered family of animals in the United States with over 70% either extinct or facing extinction. But that does not mean we are desperate, we seek talented mollusks only! The applicant must fulfill role as a barometer for the health of the ecosystem and understand that their own well-being can easily be affected by poisonous runoff from land (such as pesticides, fertilizer, road salt, etc.), change in flow due to river damming, competition with nonnative mollusks for survival, and lack of fish hosts because of similar causes. If the ecosystem begins to fail, you will be among the first to feel it; faint-of-(mollusk)-heart need not apply! But don’t worry, because we are doing everything in our power to preserve the existence of the Ohio Pigtoe, which is why we need your help, so that it can also live forever on the screen.

Please send in your 8x10 clamshell shots with relevant acting experience on reverse.

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